Too much sizzle and NOT enough substance

In marketing there is a saying “All sizzle and no steak”. What this essentially means is that products and services are being advertised and sold as being capable of offering the buyer something so much better than that product or service is capable of delivering. How many times have you heard people complain about purchases falling well short of their expectations? Well that’s the ‘Marketer’s’ job right there, to make the average bod in the street buy ‘things’ they don’t really need or which is not fit for purpose.

Another way in which products and services are sold to us is by these businesses shouting from the rooftops about how green and caring for the communities they are. These ‘green credentials’ are big business because they tune in to the average bod in the street, the average bod who wants to agree with saving the planet from manmade nasties. Likewise, businesses will donate to the vulnerable members of society just to win that coveted extra quid.

The more I pootle around the internet, the more I see the lies and false claims. These falsehoods of being all ‘caring and lovely’ couldn’t be much more detached from the truth if they tried. I am quite simply discovering that, from the marketers of large companies down to the self-promoter, all are little more than fairground attractions – all theatre and make believe.


Single woman syndrome.

I was wondering why so many single women over the age of 30 years of age are so crabby. Is it some weird hormonal condition forcing their bodies and brains to grab out for any man they can in an attempt to reproduce and when this just isn’t happening they get really tetchy?

The trouble then is that they just look too desperate and needy as the IVF territory begins to kick in because they have been the ones to ‘want it all’. Unfortunately the biological clock tick, tick, ticks out of time and for some it is simply too late.

There is a new test on the market which shows sperm counts, I just have visions of all these desperate women producing these kits on first dates to save them wasting time having to have a ‘proper’ relationship with the male species.

Of course these women would never, ever admit to behaving in such a way. No they cover it all up by comments like “I’m a strong woman and don’t need a man in my life”. I’m not so convinced because a couple of batteries covered in rubber won’t keep you warm or buy a round of drinks now will it?

I’m so glad this is just an observation for me 🙂

WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE – err I’d rather not thanks!

I read a really funny article on the internet earlier about a new Starbucks outlet popping up – only it was an imposter and it has Starbucks in a flap that is for sure. They have no idea who is behind the façade but it side-splittingly funny!

That is one good way to teach them a lesson and take them down a notch or two. Personally I can’t abide coffee, it’s hideous, it looks disgusting, it tastes disgusting and it makes people smell disgusting! Next to the whiff of tobacco, it comes a close second in my books.

Ah well you should always be aware of the newcomers and this certainly proves the point mwahahaha

1st rule of business – stay relevant 🙂

Pictures of food, drink and random items

For crying out loud why are people on the internet absolutely obsessed with posting up pictures of weirdly large portions of food, bulbous glasses of wine or flagons of beer?

HEY YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE, yes you, I am actually speaking to you! Why do you want me to know about you being an over-eating lush? This enhances another one of my days on this planet how exactly?

Answer is, it doesn’t does it?

Oh and while I’m on it, I do not wish to know about your toilet habits, who you snogged last night nor what your backside looks like!

Pennies from Heaven.

The Whacktivist has landed so it would seem 🙂 Hurrah shouts Mildred!

So why am I so pleased? Well it seems a certain person who thinks of themselves a bit of a wordsmith has decided it would be a good idea to share Mildred Pilchard all over Twitter. Am I bovvered? Am I heck as like – in fact it’s the best thing that could ever have happened, look at all the free exposure I am getting now for goodness sake. I am actually jumping for joy haha!

Look, here’s the way it is, if someone wants to be my donkey then I’m not going to walk myself am I? For goodness sake my shoes were expensive I’ll have you know!

It really is like pennies from Heaven 🙂


Some people will believe anything they read.

Well I was going to leave this until the morning to write – but I just could not contain myself.

It never ceases to amuse me at how many of those people ‘out there’, who are supposed to be the ones uncovering the truths from the myriad of untruths, but who actually fall for anything they read and think it is reality. Very recently this has happened by some so called journalist, yes that’s right a journalist, who actually believed every single word written – as though it was straight out of the Holy Bible itself.

Is this really the calibre of journalism we need?

Maybe Mildred is a whack – but she isn’t dull and has truly entertained all.

People with chips – carpentry anyone?

Some people are just so obsessed with their own perceived social status that they have to resort to comments like “Don’t you know who I am?” or I earn £xx amount blah-blah, words and more blah-blah rubbish.

Their constant neediness, lack of class or just plain old fashioned ugliness creates a chip. A chip which starts off as something quite insignificant as a child but, as that person grows, so does that chip until not even the most experienced of Chippie can work their magic on it.